Personal Development.

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GENDER EQUALITY

Miss interpretation of gender equality.

The WHO gender policy 2002 defines Gender Equality as the absence of discrimination on the basis of a person’s sex in opportunities, the allocation of resources and benefits, or access to services and Gender Equity as the fairness and justice in the distribution of benefits and responsibilities between women and men. The concept recognizes that women and men have different needs and power, and that these differences should be identified and addressed in a manner that rectifies the imbalance between the sexes.

The annoying reality portrays Gender Equality as the absence of discrimination against women in opportunities, allocation of resources and benefits, or access to services. It is right for every woman to have equal access to opportunities and services just like the men and vise versa, but very unfair, unethical and unlawful to think that women are far more deserving to access anything than other genders.

So many times, the Gender Equality term has been misused by many who are busy fighting for the rights of women than all genders; which has left the male gender worse than it was. The feminist movement has greatly improved the rights of women which had long suffered, however, it is high time to fight for the rights of all and to go back to the real definition of Gender Equality.

Than having feminists and masculinists, we need “humanists”.

The female gender has been given enough attention, right from the time they are born, at school, society, workplace and the government. WHAT ABOUT THE “BOY CHILD” AND WHO IS GOING TO HELP AND FIGHT FOR HIM? The males too are victims of gender inequality perpetrated by females and males. Men have been left to nurture themselves and fight for themselves; they have been raised to be “MEN”; men don’t cry, men are cheap to maintain, men look for opportunities, men are hard, men are… Whereas the male gender is trained to find their way, the female gender has been groomed and nurtured with care by the family, society and government to become “good people of society” and they are always protected because they are “Victims and never perpetrators”.

The irony is that society continues to raise a well prepared right female for the unprepared wrong male who will always treat her unfairly out of bias, anger, jealous and hatred because he thinks she is a wiseacre who thinks can be a man. Marriages are breaking, numbers of the unmarried increasing and single parents because of incompatibility since good and bad cannot co-exist; all this is detrimental to the country’s family system and growth.

To end gender inequality, we have to involve every gender in it’s fight than alienating one gender as the perpetrator and the other the victim because in this fight every gender is a victim and perpetrator. No woman or man has to prove is better after all emotions, skills, knowledge, values, passion and purpose have no gender. WE NEED US, MALE AND FEMALE, FOR GROWTH.

#gender #society #people #growth

Papers Alone are Useless

The world today is moving at a rocket speed. Therefore, it requires a rocket speed brain because gone are the days when relying on your academic qualifications alone yielded success; “today’s” world requires one to be smart, aggressive, assertive, go-getter because papers and handwork without smartness are useless.

One has to think out of the normal, not the abnormal, to excel in this new world because the world itself is not normal at all. One has to know who they are by finding out where they came from (their past and reconciling with it in order to accept it), where they are (how you reached there so that you make corrections or restrategise) , where they want to go and how they will go there. Among the ways to reach there should never be relying on papers alone since no opportunity will ever look for anyone unless you chase after it and avail yourself. By one knowing who they are in terms of spirituality, skills, attitudes and knowledge they will know which opportunities to run after because some opportunities are not meant for them.

For one to excel these days he/she has to have a functional clock like mind in addition to passion not money being driving factor to chase after every opportunity since it is a very beautiful and interesting thing when a career plus passion come together. Even when the money doesn’t come the passion will keep one doing that thing they love most and at the end money will come. Doing something you don’t like is a blood sucking vampire.

At all times, one should know how to covert their weaknesses into strengths, threats into opportunities and remember that school helps one to acquire skills, knowledge plus attitudes that will help one to thrive. One should be very smart and make sure that they make enough connections that will help them land into the next opportunity because most times the first opportunity after school is got through ones’ network of friends.

Academic qualifications prove that one is teachable and can do anything their mind decides to do. It is a very important ingredient to the success of every man, but relying on it alone and forgetting to use your great knowledge, skills plus attitudes one got in and outside school is unwise.

DEAR BELOVED

Dear beloved,
I trusted you with my all
Gave you all my trust
Praised you among many
Defended you among many
Swore how in the world
You are the world,
Trusted you like no other
Knowing we were chasing
The same dream,
Because I knew
I just didn’t think,
For I KNEW
That our future was siamese,
It breaks my heart that
It is you my very own
Who fought my progress,
That my beloved at heart
Blew off the candle in us,
I wish I can see you like I did
Before I discovered the true you,
The enemy by my side
The snake that glittered
I thought you are gold
But you are just a glittering paper,
Oh! Beloved it wouldn’t have been you
Better the enemy than a hypocrite,
But thanks for coming out
Atleast I can now chase my dream,
Alone aware that am alone.

Namukhura Rowney

A THICK FOREST

A THICK FOREST

Finding one is always like looking
For that one animal in the forest
Actually that particular one
You meet so many animals
That look like that you desire
But later you realise they aren’t
The time has been wasted badly
But one day as the search continues
You find that you want, need and desire
You hold it tight
Treasure it most
Guard it jealously
And life then becomes full
Ohh it brings happiness
Which no parent or friend or relation
Can ever bring
When hurts nothing hurts like does
The happiness brought is incomparable
Life is at its best
With this one by you
Every dream becomes part
All the foreshadowing is part of
Only nostalgic moments take over
For your past together had no faults
Because you couldn’t see any
Ohh it is such a sweet feeling.

Namukhura Rowney

WHEN LOVING TOO MUCH HURTS.

Namukhura Rowney; rowneyagnes@gmail.com

There are times when being too loving hurts since anything “too” is at the extreme, therefore is negative. This too much love for others becomes so toxic especially to the person giving it to the extent that they cannot differentiate between love and responsibility; love is a feeling while responsibility is that thing you are doing but can choose not to do as someone else can take it on.

Whatever good thing you do for your child and wife is love, even if it is tough love, while the helping hand you give out when you can choose not to is responsibility for you can choose not to help them since someone else can do it. Love cannot be quantified while responsibility can be withdrawn.

Many people around you will take advantage of you by shifting even the smallest of their responsibilities for you to solve, yet you have the choice to decline them. Once you fail to draw a thick line between love and responsibility you realise that you have a lot on your table to solve because at every turn there is a problem for you to solve; if you don’t solve you feel guilty and depressed.

The biggest reason as to why some people are poor is because they are to generous and high dependency levels of relatives even those who were insignificant in your growing up will surprise you when they start knocking at your door for you to add them on the beneficiary list of responsibilities not forgetting even those who cursed you when you were young.

Being this kind of person who is too loving shows you are sentimental, easily taken up by emotions for you never apply your reason at all times to differentiate love and responsibility. When people in your life discover you are such a person they can take advantage of, they make you take care of their responsibilities which they can do without. A person will seek help from you because their friend needs some money because they are very good at emotionally black mailing you being a sentimental kind. You will start convincing yourself that God will bless you for loving his people and helping them even if you aren’t expected to forgetting that God never said that you should be stupid.

It is typical of too loving people to love others like they love others forgetting God’s commandment of loving others like they love themselves. You can never give what you don’t have, love yourself before extending the love to others. How do you make others happy when you aren’t happy yourself? How stupid are you to spend on people outside more than you do to yourself and your family?

Never do what Jesus did because he paid it all and the world doesn’t need another to pay for what was already paid for. Being this kind of person is so bad that at the end of the day you endup languishing in plenty of lack without even one person you helped at one point helping you; if you seek for their help they will explain to you how they could help only if the people they love like children and wives didn’t need their help. A person will tell you that he can’t help because the money he has is going to be used to furnish his house and take his wife and children for a vacation; you being the sentimental one will apply emotion since it is your expertise to judge this rational person because he can differentiate love from responsibility and you are a mere responsibility he can ignore.

If you had same problem would you call them and they give you same help? It is a sin and very stupid to love others than yourself and to spend on others over 10% of your money, yet God himself asked for 10%.

What is most annoying about responsibilies is their failure to remember how much you helped them, but rather one who helped them to show off that you had a lot of money with you. It is only your parents, wife, husband and children who will never betray you and can be hurt by your pain; incase of your death they are the only ones who will feel your blow and will struggle to live without you most especially your children. Your highest percentage of life should be invested in your children first followed by your partner and lastly your parents as others are just responsibility you can deal without.

Remember that if you get a problem and need the help of your responsibilities, they will ask you how much you had saved to solve your problem, incase you were stupid and didn’t save anything for your sickness or old age that is when reality of life will dawn on you. You will wish time is rewound so that you save for your future and differentiate love from responsibility since people generally don’t remember generosity offered to them.

Don’t be stupid and invest in your relatives and friends while leaving your own children to struggle for themselves all because a relative helped you while growing up. Helping isn’t bad at all, but carrying the whole family of a person who helped you while growing up is stupid especially if you really know you cannot afford to carry both. Front you family and take on others as a responsibility. Don’t help because you expect the same to be done for you tomorrow, because if you do that you should be ready for disappointment.

Refuse to be sentimental and emotionally blackmailed by anyone. No one in future will sacrifice his money to take you to the hospital if his child has to go to school or his family needs the money.

Love yourself so that you can love others well because if you don’t, the very people you love will suffer as a result of your responsibilities which will never remember that you once helped them to extend thesame helping hand to your loved ones in case you are gone or doing badly off. They will only remind them about how reckless you were not to save for your beloved family since you were busy splashing money everywhere to brag about how rich you were. They will ask you how you used your money. If you are a man your wife will be blamed for being a kind who loved luxury and made you bankrupt; children of such a woman will pay for the “sins” of their parents of being generous.

What would happen to your children incase you died now? Would they have a future you wish them to have even in your death since they have no one, but you? Would you take care of yourself and family if became unhealthy without needing help elsewhere since no one will be willing to help? Have you insured your future, especially that of your children’s education? Let your answers guide you to make rational decisions about your life. Remember the only person who can best take care of you and your children is you alone.

Help but help sparingly and rationally.

COUNTING OTHERS’ BLESSINGS PAIN.

While scrolling on my social media page, I realised that most of my age mates, those I grew up with and those I studied with are doing better than I am. Why am I the failure?

They are in beautiful relationships, beautiful marriages, have beautiful children, have good jobs, have beautiful cars, have beautiful houses while I at my age I have nothing to show for it. Why has God been unfair to me and blessed others. Am I cursed to some extent or who is bewitching me from my village?

Even those who were very many years behind me in terms of age and school are now more successful than I am. Those I was more intelligent than in class are doing better than me. Why is life so unfair? I don’t have a good relationship, no marriage, no children, no house, no car, no job or money like those I see. I seem to be the only cursed among many. I wonder what the importance of my life is to this world full of people who have made it in life.

These were my thoughts when I was busy counting other peoples blessings.

The counting of other peoples blessings made me fall into depression because the more I counted others’, the more I felt useless and realised how much I had not achieved in comparison to them yet in fact I had infinite blessings to count compared to the few failures in my life.

I decided to get a paper and genuinely count what God has not done for me in comparison to what he has done for me since and yet to do. The failures weren’t many and the blessings were infinite. I looked around me and realised everyone cannot have everything their hearts desire and eachday we crave for better things than yesterday.

I counted important things like being alive and health as the biggest blessing of all time. Having friends and family to lean to plus make me happy. Being able to enjoy all the five senses functioning properly is a blessing. Being able to walk, talk and most importantly sleep. Above all knowing that there is a God who cares about you who will supply your needs at all times.

Than counting other people’s blessings I am now busy counting my blessings everyday. Everything I have been able to achieve from being able to survive my mothers womb to now I do count not forgetting what am about to achieve. This has made me understand how great and blessed I am.

Imagine a life of no challenge at all. Where you have to wakeup and every wish is fulfilled. This life would be boring and we would start wondering why we should be alive. The daily challenges here and there spice our life and give us reason to be happy because after every test there is a testimony. Without a test there is no testimony and the bigger the challenge the bigger the celebration after winning. So small challenges give small achievements and bigger ones give bigger achievements hence bigger celebrations which give us reason to bond with God the more because it is through challenges that we can know how genuine and true God is. He uses them to tickle us to remember him in every challenge. I am confident that if we were given a wish to make in life we would still choose a life with challenges and success not that of happiness alone; too much of anything is bad so monotonous sweet life would be boring.

Therefore, than you counting other people’s blessings be fair to yourself and count yours making sure you don’t forget to thank God after realising how great he has been in your life.

MAKE BABY MEALTIME FUN

Above; Baby Enjoying mealtime.

There reaches that time for every mother to introduce food to her baby. It is medically recommended that babies should be introduced to solid food the moment they make six months, but the problem that they usually have to face is the babies’ failure to easily get used to eating food alongside breastfeeding which they enjoy doing the most.

It is heartbreaking for any mother to see their baby crying whenever they try to feed it yet they have to do it or risk the baby becoming underweight as breast milk alone can’t be enough. Those who cannot afford to convince the baby to eat suffer the consequences of not feeding the baby solid food alongside breastfeeding. Some mothers do the worst by weaning their babies with the hope that the baby will have appetite for food; which is so dangerous as breastmilk is so important for the baby’s nutrition and growth, so nothing should ever make you to wean your baby early even if you are pregnant.

It is so hurting to find a baby almost making a year or a year and above but is only 6kg. Such a baby is so underweight but the excuse the mother gives is that her baby doesn’t like to eat anything else apart from breastfeeding. Underweight babies are not happy babies and are not pleasant to look at as they look malnourished and sick to many; if you move with your underweight baby and no one comes to play with it or request to carry, then as a mother there is something you need to do about your baby’s weight. It is so embarrassing to find two healthy looking parents with a very tiny underweight baby. You may claim that you don’t care about what the world says about your child, but the reality is there is no way you will pretend that the other people’s opinions about how unhealthy your baby is doesn’t concern you; therefore as a parent you need to pull up your socks and feed your baby well.

Some mothers do the worst by forcefeeding their babies with solid foods which is detrimental to the baby’s health and life. Mothers hold the baby so tight on their chests and press the cup on the babies mouth while pouring food in the baby’s mouth who is crying so loud like one in the slaughter house. Force feeding is so dangerous that it can make the baby suffocate, choke to death or become obese.

Many babies have died as a result of forcefeeding when they are accidentally suffocated or choked to death. This can be a very hard blow to the parents, make one guilty for life and never to forgive him/herself for forcefeeding the baby and the baby ending up dead. Additionally obesity in babies which comes with its own side effects is so common as babies who are force fed are given food more than their bodies need. Babies don’t need a lot of food in their small stomachs; all they need is frequent small meals of solid food not big meals like adults. You can feed solid foods to your baby after every two hours; their hard bellies can tell you when they are satisfied and still hungry. Don’t overfeed the baby to make the belly to become too hard as anything “too” is negative.

Remember that all healthy babies can enjoy solid food if the person feeding them is patient enough to feed them. Babies love entertaining people to feed them and one who is very patient with them. Don’t expect to feed a baby in 20 minutes or expect them to open there mouths and take in anything you give them when you are not entertaining them. Baby’s don’t know the advantage of food, they don’t know that one has to eat to become satisfied though they will cry so hard when they are hungry and to your surprise they will cry when you are feeding them in addition to turning away their head from the food you are trying to give them. So a parent who gives an excuse of not feeding the baby solid food by claiming the baby hates solid food or has low appetite for solid food and only has appetite for breastmilk is a lazy one. You cannot dance to your baby’s drum beats especially if the beats are not good to dance to and puts its health at risk. Your baby’s health and wellbeing should be put at the forefront.

Therefore, to easily feed any baby well, do the following:

(i) Be ready to be patient with the baby for over an hour. So spare enough time to feed your baby to avoid becoming impatient and wanting to feed the baby hurriedly.

(ii) Prepare enough toys or tools to use when entertaining the baby during mealtime.

(iii) Sing for the babies different songs and make different noises for them so that they find eating interesting. You can make noises of different animals or any other funny noises that grabs their attention to you and the food.

(iv) Dance and jump around for them while singing or talking or making different noises for them so that while they are eating they gaze at you or ask any other person in the house to stand infront of the baby to dance, jump around while singing, talking or making different entertaining noises.

(v) Talk to the baby while feeding them by praising the food and praising the baby; baby’s are very good at reading emotions and expressions on the face. Call the baby all the sweetest names and make promises to them which you will fulfill if they finish eating the food.

(vi) Point at different things around the house which is also helpful as mealtime will turn into play time and learning time.

(vii) Understand your baby and know their best eating position. Some babies enjoy eating while running around the house, walking around the table, crawling, dancing and jumping around. Some love eating from outside the house and not inside so that they can look at different things.

If you are ready to do the above or some or all of the above for you and your baby to enjoy mealtime then you are ready to enjoy your baby’s mealtime. There are times when you will feel tired to do the above, but don’t be tempted to lose the patience; if one fails try the next and keep trying one way to the other until you feed your baby as motherhood is a lifetime commitment and lifetime job without pay. The only pay is the happiness plus wellbeing of your baby and once you have the baby you have to be ready to go to the greatest school of creativity together with patience where your baby is the tutor who must be obeyed at all times for its and your peace of mind.

Enjoy motherhood and make mealtime bonding time plus fun time with your baby.

Rowney

HOW TO COOK ONION LEAVES

Freshly cut onion leaves

If you have got onion leaves with you then do not throw them away as this can be of great use to you in your kitchen. It can be used to make vegetable sauce since it has great onion aroma. All you need is to:                                                      (i) Cut the onion leaves off the onions.  

 (ii) Place it in a container you are to use for washing because it may contain some soil most especially sand.  

(iii) Pour a lot of water that cover the onion leaves and wash the leaves in the water delicately by just shaking the leaves in the water so that all the soil gets off and goes below the leaves, leaving the clean leaves floating on the water.                 

(iv) Remove the leaves from the water to another container ( Don’t just pour away the water as this will leave your leaves with soil which went below  the water when you were washing), pour there “new” clean water, rewash and remove as above.                                                                       

(v) Cut the leaves into small pieces, slice an onion, green pepper, carrot, tomatoes and prepare  any spice you would love to put in your vegetable sauce not forgetting salt.                        

(vi) Heat the saucepan to become hot, pour frying oil which you leave to become hot, add an onion which you leave to turn golden brown before adding your onion leaves.  

(vii) Keep turning the leaves until all the water is dry and add your other ingredients down on the pan so that the leaves cover them. Leave them to get ready before mixing everything  and adding salt.                                              (viii) Boil for a minute after adding salt before serving with any food of your choice which you enjoy eating with fried vegetables.       

Enjoy your beautiful meal from Rowney’s kitchen to your kitchen.