There are times when being too loving hurts since anything “too” is at the extreme, therefore is negative. This too much love for others becomes so toxic especially to the person giving it to the extent that they cannot differentiate between love and responsibility; love is a feeling while responsibility is that thing you are doing but can choose not to do as someone else can take it on.
Whatever good thing you do for your child and wife is love, even if it is tough love, while the helping hand you give out when you can choose not to is responsibility for you can choose not to help them since someone else can do it. Love cannot be quantified while responsibility can be withdrawn.
Many people around you will take advantage of you by shifting even the smallest of their responsibilities for you to solve, yet you have the choice to decline them. Once you fail to draw a thick line between love and responsibility you realise that you have a lot on your table to solve because at every turn there is a problem for you to solve; if you don’t solve you feel guilty and depressed.
The biggest reason as to why some people are poor is because they are to generous and high dependency levels of relatives even those who were insignificant in your growing up will surprise you when they start knocking at your door for you to add them on the beneficiary list of responsibilities not forgetting even those who cursed you when you were young.
Being this kind of person who is too loving shows you are sentimental, easily taken up by emotions for you never apply your reason at all times to differentiate love and responsibility. When people in your life discover you are such a person they can take advantage of, they make you take care of their responsibilities which they can do without. A person will seek help from you because their friend needs some money because they are very good at emotionally black mailing you being a sentimental kind. You will start convincing yourself that God will bless you for loving his people and helping them even if you aren’t expected to forgetting that God never said that you should be stupid.
It is typical of too loving people to love others like they love others forgetting God’s commandment of loving others like theh love themselves. You can never give what you don’t have, love yourself before extending the love to others. How do you make others happy when you aren’t happy yourself? How stupid are you to spend on people outside more than you do to yourself and your family?
Never do what Jesus did because he paid it all and fhe world doesn’t need another to pay for what was already paid for. Being this kind of person is so bad that at the end of the day you endup languishing in plenty of lack without even one person you helped at one point helping you; if you seek for their help they will explain to you how they could help only if the people they love like children and wives didn’t need their help. A person will tell you that he can’t help because the money he has is going to be used to furnish his house and take his wife and children for a vacation; you being the sentimental ome will apply emotion since it is your expertise to judge this rational person because he can differentiate love from responsibility and you are a mere responsibility he can ignore.
If you had same problem would you call them and they give you same help? It is a sin and very stupid to love others than yourself and to spend on others over 10% of your money, yet God himself asked for 10%.
What is most annoying about responsibilies is their failure to remember how much you helped them, but rather one who helped them to show off that you had a lot of money with you. It is only your parents, wife, husband and children who will never betray you and can be hurt by your pain; incase of your death they are the only ones who will feel your blow and will struggle to live without you most especially your children. Your highest percentage of life should be invested in your children first followed by your partner and lastly your parents as others are just responsibility you can deal without.
Remember that if you get a problem and need the help of your responsibilities, they will ask you how much you had saved to solve your problem, incase you were stupid and didn’t save anything for your sickness or old age that is when reality of life will dawn on you. You will wish time is rewound so that you save for your future and differentiate love from responsibility since people generally don’t remember generosity offered to them.
Don’t be stupid and invest in your relatives and friends while leaving their own children to struggle for themselves all because a relative helped you while growing up. Helping isn’t bad at all, but carrying the whole family of a person who helped you while growing up is stupid especially if you really know you cannot afford to carry both. Front you family and take on others as a responsibility. Don’t help because you expect thesame to be done for you tomorrow, because if you do that you should be ready for disappointment.
Refuse to be sentimental and emotionally blackmailed by anyone. No one in future will sacrifice his money to take you to the hospital if his child has to go to school or his family needs the money.
Love yourself so that you can love others well because if you don’t, the very people you love will suffer as a result of your responsibilities which will never remember that you once helped them to extend thesame helping hand to your loved ones in case you are gone or doing badly off. They will only remind them about how reckless you were not to save for your beloved family since you were busy splashing money everywhere to brag about how rich you were. They will ask you how you used your money. If you are a man your wife will be blamed for being a kind who loved luxury and made you bankrupt; children of such a woman will pay for the “sins” of their parents of being generous.
What would happen to your children incase you died now? Would they have a future you wish them to have even in your death since they have no one, but you? Would you take care of yourself and family if became unhealthy without needing help elsewhere since no one will be willing to help? Have you insured your future, especially that of your children’s education? Let your answers guide you to make rational decisions about your life. Remember the only person who can best take care of you and your children is you alone.
Help but help sparingly and rationally.